According to the US Department of Education, 20 percent of students report being bullied in school. Every parent’s nightmare is finding out that their child is being bullied at school. Bullying can have serious consequences for our kids, like depression, poor grades, and even self-harm.
As a parent, you don't have to feel helpless when you find out your child is being bullied. There are several steps you can take to end the bullying and help your child be successful in school once again.
Make the School Aware of the Situation
The first step to take when you find out your child is being bullied is to make the school aware of the situation. Talking to your child’s teachers, counselors, and even the school principal from the start can help mediate the situation before it escalates further. Your child’s teacher can take actions such as moving your child’s desk or stepping in when the bullying begins. With more than 20 kids in a classroom, teachers unfortunately can’t be on top of issues at all times. Once they’re made aware of the problem, they may know to keep a closer eye on your child.
The school principal can take punitive action against your child’s bully, if there’s enough proof that bullying has occurred. At the very least, the principal can document that a complaint has been made to start the trail of evidence.
Document the Facts
Parents often find themselves frustrated at their school’s lack of action when it comes to bullying. However, bullying often becomes a he said/she said situation without any concrete proof. As soon as you’re aware that your child is being bullied, start collecting evidence against the bully.
Hold onto any evidence of online bullying, such as mean text messages, malevolent activity on social media accounts, and even emails. Save the evidence in a folder away from your child, as you don’t want them re-reading the messages and compounding the pain of the situation.
If further action needs to be taken, such as speaking to the police or even the school board, you’ll have concrete proof of exactly what is happening to your child.
Support Your Child’s Mental and Emotional Health
Bullying takes a significant toll on your child’s mental and emotional health. Watch for signs of distress such as changes in eating and sleeping habits, increased irritability or mood swings, reluctance to go to school, low self-esteem, and changes in their academic performance. All of these are signs that your child is not coping with the bullying as well as you might have thought.
Make sure you have open and honest conversations with your child about how they’re feeling. If they won’t speak to you, it’s important that you bring in their school’s guidance counselor or even a therapist. It’s crucial to get your child the right support for your child’s mental health before serious problems, like anxiety and depression, occur.
Discuss Actions Your Child Can Take
Your child doesn’t have to feel helpless, either. There are steps they can take to make themselves less of a target, like using the buddy system. Encourage your child to stay close to a friend as much as possible, whether they’re walking in the hallway or eating in the cafeteria. Bullies are less likely to target someone when they’re with a group.
Bullies are looking to get a reaction out of their target. They want your child to cower or cry or react in anger. Teach your child to ignore their bullies and pretend they aren’t at all phased by their mean words or actions. The less of a reaction your child gives the bully, the faster the bully will lose interest in them.
If your child encounters a bully, encourage them to…
Stay calm and do your best not to react. Avoid showing fear.
Be assertive. Using a steady tone, clearly ask the bully to stop what they’re doing.
Seek out a trusted adult or exit the area. As soon as you’re in a safe location, report the incident to the school authorities and your parents immediately.
Following these steps empowers your child to take action. Go over the steps before an incident occurs in order to reduce the chance that they’ll freeze in the moment.
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